La Monnaie Parsifal | Pillow Talk

The Nightly Phone Call home to my wife went something like this this evening:

Wife: "Hi Honey. How was your day?"

Husband: "Oh, ya know... the usual. Long day of rehearsal."

W: "Oh really."

H: "Yeah, it was pretty grueling. Still suffering from jet lag from the trip to San Diego."

W: "Right, but at least you didn't have to do the trip with 3 kids and 2 8-hr layovers."

H: "Sure, course not. But it was still a hard day. My lips hurt."

NOT Monnaie, but Act 2

W: "wha?"

H: "And I think I pulled a muscle in my back too."

W: "Oh you poor baby!"

H: "THANK you."

W: "But what do your lips have to do with anything?"

H: "Well…ya know…we're making a movie. And there's lots of…uh…kissing."

W: "Wait. I thought you were making an opera."

H: "Well, now we're making a movie AND an opera. It's Act 2 of Parsifal, and you know what that's about."

W: "I am afraid to ask…I remember Stuttgart."

H: "Well, ummmm…"

W: "Spit it out."

H: "I-I-I'm keeping my clothes on!"

W: "Ok, now I'm really nervous."

H: "And I don't ACTUALLY kiss her. We're very professional."

(I think I heard my wife rummaging for scissors at this moment in the conversation)

H: "But, in the movie, we're acting out what happens after the Kiss of Kundry. And I get further than 2nd base…"

W: "You mean this is character study or what?"

H: "No. It kinda plays during the singing. It's pre-recorded (edited) I can't say it."

W: "O. My. Lord."

H: "Aw, baby. I'll have them stitch up the pants, ok?"

W: "Fine. Perhaps then your mother would approve!"

H: "Errmmmm, my mom doesn't approve me even STAGE kissing, sweetie. Never mind not using tongue or swapping spit."

W: "True. But I suppose what I wanna know is, is there any frontal?"

H: "Goodness no, babe. I wouldn't dream of that!"

W: "And will I be bringing the kids to the show?"

H: "Oh. Never thought about that. Well, they HAVE been to European beaches. But perhaps the youngest might wanna sit this one out."

W: "You are lucky to be married to me ya know…"

H: "Don't I know it! (pause) But, you do realize I wear only a flight belt in Act 3, right?"

I have a very understanding wife.