Winding Down

Getting internet in new apartments is always a troublesome task, thus a bit of a hiatus for me. For the last couple weeks have been in Bologna in rehearsal for Carmen. Its the same production from Riga that Garanca premiered in 2007.

How do I put this delicately?

The transition from absolute freedom and play and exploration in the Calixto Parsifal to this production where -- on the first day of rehearsal being plopped down in a chair and shown the entire opera of Carmen in dvd form, and then told: "So, that's your blocking. That's what you're going to do..." -- stunk. I'm thinking: "Erm, I'm in rehearsal for 5 weeks. Why?!" We pay our own apartments in cities, and pay for homes, and miss beloved families and I am going to be made to do what's on a DVD?! Great. So much for art. Actually, I didn't just think it. I said it loudly. Many times. I admit, I was obnoxious.


The first week in Bologna didn't go well.



But now, things have settled in. I've said what I had to say and am being allowed to slightly personalize the blocking and characterization. I learned along time ago what works for the goose don't work for the gander. But regardless, it's been a good time of growth and learning. I make the character less and less young and deepen the emotion to less show and more do. Here's a little from a staging rehearsal onstage a few days ago.


 Carmen: La Fleur by Andrew Richards 


I love singing in Italy. Something about it just makes you relax. The culture, along with Spain, just doesn't allow you to stay uptight for long. So it was good to let go of all the stress and correct-ness that was the Paris Carmen and start to remember how I like to sing the role. Like an Italian. Take it or leave it. The older I get, the less energy I give "correct." Life is too short.


Which, I guess, was how I lasted thru the Bieito ordeal. I'm so sad to be approaching the final performance. Not to see my colleagues and friends at the opera will be hard, but harder still is the physical challenge to "Let go." The inner voices of self-doubt that plague many performers just ceased in the ordeal. There wasn't any place for them. For all of us. You just had to give yourself over to craziness. Because, come on, Calixto is NUTS! In all the right ways. I will miss him the most. 


Travel day back to Stuttgart domani. Then, Sunday. So sad....but going to be so much fun to do cocaine onstage! (Gurnemanz grinds up coca leaves, gives them to me to eat and then I majorly trip out during the music following "Nur schreite kaum, doch wenn ich mich, schon weit!")

From Parsifal